Cool Cowboy Names
(Fictional)

“You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.”
-- The Man With No Name
(The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)

1. The Lone Ranger
   (Radio, TV, movies… he could do it all, and looked soooo cool in that mask)
2. The Man With No Name
   (Definitely a "less is more" approach; character brought to life in several movies by Clint Eastwood)
3. Kid Colt
   (Marvel Comics, quintessential Robin Hood of the West)
4. Jonah Hex
   (DC Comics, notorious bounty hunter with a scared face)
5. Rooster Cogburn
   (“One-eyed fat man” marshal played by John Wayne in True Grit and Rooster Cogburn)
6. Rawhide Kid
   (Marvel Comics, another Robin Hood of the West)
7. Maverick
   (TV show con-man and gambler played by James Garner)
8. Shane
   (Outlaw trying to reform in the self-titled movie; with only one name, he's the Cher of the Wild West)
9. Lady Rawhide
   (Topps Comics, Enemy, then ally of Zorro)
10. Matt Dillon
    (Gunsmoke TV show; how he resisted Miss Kitty's charms is beyond me...)
11. Bat Lash
    (DC Comics, gambler & ladies man)
12. Cinnamon
    (DC Comics, bounty hunter)
13. Cheyenne Kid
    (Charlton Comics, another do-gooder “outlaw”)
14. Ghost Rider
    (Marvel Comics, and yup, he was a cowboy first!)
15. Paladin
    (Star of radio and TV shows, "Have Gun, Will Travel")
16. Two-Gun Kid
    (Marvel Comics, another lone rider)

11-11-2004

You might be a redneck gamer if...
List 1

MM: "You might be a redneck gamer if you're mad as heck because you can't find a 25mm blue tick hound."
CG: "Dixon makes them."
MM: "You might be a redneck gamer if you know off the top of your head where to buy a 25mm blue tick hound!"
(An exchange between Mike Mitchell & Craig Griswold from theminiaturespage.com forums)

1. Your miniatures are painted the same color as your car... primer gray!
2. You think Stargrunt is a collection of celebrity porn!
3. You've ever played "strip Gutshot!
   You use tobacco juice to wash coat miniatures.
4. Your dice have cigarette burns.
5. You play Starship Troopers with real bugs.
6. You have your favorite character's name tatooed on your body.
7. You base your miniatures on bottle caps.
8. You've ever 'executed' another player's miniature with a firecracker.
9. You feel obligated to come to the table at least as well armed as any miniature you use.
10. You've ever traded a firearm for gaming rules or miniatures.
11. Most of your game nights end when two player's 'take it outside' to settle a rules question.
12. Your collection of game models, minis, terrain and books cost are worth more than your car.
13. You include Skoal on every character's equipment list, regardless of the game or era.
14. You've ever gamed in your underwear.
15. You've ever gamed in someone else's underwear!
16. You've ever played Live Action Battle Cattle!
17. You've ever forgotten where you were and accidentally spit in someone's dice cup.
18. You consider cow patties a cheap alternative to foam hills. (Just pour some flock on it, who's gonna know?)
19. You ever played Live Action Car Wars.

04-21-2005

You might be a redneck gamer if...
List 2

1. You think "Necron" is a new kind of engine oil.
2. Your local "opponent finder" is the bathroom wall down at the A&P.
3. Your Space Marine heroes are all named Lee, Longstreet, Jackson, Hood, or Hill.
4. Your children are all named Lee, Longstreet, Jackson, Hood, or Hill.
5. Your chainmail hauberk has a special pocket for a chewing tobacco can.
6. Your mother does better at renaissance faire tournaments than you do.
7. Your terrain pieces are all either dripcans or spitoons.
8. You're still searching for those minis of dogs playing poker.
9. You and your minis have about the same level of formal education.
10. You whistle the theme from Deliverance while your opponent's forces move towards your ambush.
11. This evening's scenario was to save the king, and you figured it was about a trip to Graceland.
12. You think every mini looks good painted plaid.
13. You carry your vinyl gaming mat rolled up in the gun rack.
14. You've ever driven a tractor to a hobby store.
15. Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into gaming conventions.
16. You make your own paintbrushes using the bristles from the road kill your wife brought home to cook for dinner.
17. Your FLGS has a beer cooler by the front door.
18. You own the soundtracks to Braveheart, Conan the Barbarian, and Star Trek -- on 8-track.
19. You paint your orks "John Deere green."
20. You make little saddles for the cockroaches and use them as alien cavalry.
21. You keep calling the Home Shopping Network to ask when the Battle for Maccrage set will be coming on.
22. More than half your terrain pieces are made primarily of duct tape.
23. You thought "Galadriel" was a kind of Scotch.
24. You've ever referred to plastic minis as "new-fangled."
25. You've ever asked the Warden if you can sculpt minis instead of stamping license plates.
26. You ask the hobby store clerk how much that would be in Confederate banknotes.
27. The first time you showed your wife a d20, she thought you'd taken up golf as a hobby.
28. You and your kids all suffer from advanced lead poisoning, and nobody can tell the difference.

07-11-2005

You might be a Gutshot gamer if...

1. You’ve ever had to interrupt a cattle stampede to take out the trash for your mom.
2. Someone asks you what you did over the weekend and you tell a 30-minute story about how you escaped from a Mexican prison, floated on a raft down the Rio Grande to fight a horde of banditos to rescue the Cattle Baron’s daughter, and then end the tale with, “and then we ordered out for pizza.”
3. You have ever spent more on miniatures than you have on rent.
4. You know where you can buy dice made of semi-precious stones like Amethyst or Tigers Eye.
5. You actually OWN a set of dice made of semi-precious stones like Amethyst or Tigers Eye.
6. You can quote long passages of rules about Cover, Line of Sight and Retaliation Fire… but you can’t remember your wife’s birthday.
7. You keep hunting on ebay to see if you can find one of those really cool spring loaded derringer thingies that James West’s used to pop the gun into his hand on “The Wild Wild West.”
8. You have ever had a long, serious discussion about whether or not Jesse James could have killed Superman with Kryptonite bullets.
9. You have ever come to blows while arguing about whether Tonto was a better sidekick than Festus.
10. You have ever complained about not getting enough lead in your diet.
    You have ever bet money on the outcome of a dice roll, and you weren’t in Las Vegas.
11. You have ever shed real tears about the outcome of a dice roll, and you weren’t in Las Vegas.
12. During a house fire, you don’t even hesitate before grabbing your game books and campaign notes instead of the family photo album.
13. You have ever lost sleep trying to decide between white primer or black primer.
14. You have ever agonized trying to choose between Caramel Tan and Hesitant Fawn when selecting the color for your gunfighter miniatures’ duster.
15. You meet the new guy at work and ask him what his TN is.
16. You’re watching the big game on TV with your buddies, your team scores, and you stand up shouting “Boxcars!”
17. The total weight of all your miniatures is more than your body weight (and for most of us gamers, that’s a lot!).
18. Your family has had an intervention about your “addiction” to miniatures.
19. You easily escaped from the rehab center by using your gamer knowledge.
20. You have ever paused a DVD to write up stats for Liberty Valance, Jimmy Stewart, and John Wayne.
21. You know more about the shootout at the O.K. Corral than your junior college history professor.
22. For extra credit in junior college history, you re-enacted a 25mm mock fight of the Shootout at the O.K. corral.
23. You have ever gotten hoppin’ mad because you saw the hero in a Civil War movie used an 1872 Colt Army Revolver.

08-31-2005

You know you have too many miniatures if ...

1. The weight of your collection has actually cracked the foundation of your house.
2. Your upstairs workshop is now in the basement.
3. You have so much lead lining the walls of your house, that Superman's X-ray vision can't see through it.
4. You save the filings and flash off your minis so you can melt it down to make new figures.
5. You have so many unopened blister packs in your house that visitors just assume you've opened up your own shop.
6. The last time you moved you had to rent a truck and hire three burly guys just to move your Warhammer armies.
7. You have enough lead on hand to field a 1,000,000,000 point army.
   
8. You're bidding against the Chinese on lead futures.
9. The only spot in your house without a paint drop/stain is the part of your chair where your butt rests!
10. Your house was hit by a tornado and the tornado bounced off.
11. Light is starting to bend when it passes by your house.
12. You win a great auction on eBay, get the figures and go to put them in store only to find out you already have 3 blisters of them unpainted.
13. Iit is easier to buy new armies rather than move the mountain of boxes just to get to the ones you already have that are buried at the bottom of the pile.
14. You actually own more models of a vehicle than were ever produced.
15. You can pick any "historical" battle from your genre and recreate it in 1:1 scale.
16. NASA is investigating a wobble of earth's rotation and discovers it's caused by your collection
17. Traders chase away other customers when you arrive at their booth and prostrate themselves when you adress them
18. You considered making the cealing magnetic to use it as more storage space
19. The ceiling collapsed when you tried to use it as storage space
20. Your miniatures are packed so tight they start to fight among themselves
21. Much of your furniture is made out of storage boxes
22. People have staked a minerals claim on your residence.
23. Your house is listed on local tourist maps like the ball of twine and shopping bag collection
24. Stearilite and Rubber Maid send you Christmas cards along with the latest product catalog.
25. When you have enough stacks of lead lining the walls of your game room that it doubles for the family's radioactive-proof fallout shelter

01-11-2006